I hope your son likes this joke, my grandfather told it to me when I was about 8 and I still chuckle, meaning I am either stupid, a sucker for a pun, or touched in the head. My wife thinks the joke is incredibly stupid, and so does every other woman I have told it to, so don't tell your daughter. Of course, as with anything between the 2 sexes (yes, only 2!), there is no accounting for taste, or lack there of.
My grandfather used to sit on his porch and whittle. Some guy came barreling down the road in his pickup and hit a chicken in the road in front of his house. Well the chicken knocked a hole in the plastic grill of that truck. The guy stopped and pulled into my grandfather’s driveway, got out and apologized for hitting and killing his chicken. My grandfather explained that it wasn’t his chicken but the neighbors. About that time they heard a ruckus and the chicken came out of the grill of that truck flapped its wings and ran back across the road where it came from. The guy left cussing up a storm.
Last summer, I saw two chickens cross a road using a crosswalk. According to today's standards, that story would be anecdotal and therefore misinformation. But luckily, I was fast enough to take this photo: https://postimg.cc/xc270yBc
That was in Spain and unfortunately my Spanish is limited, but here's how it went: "Por qué has usado el paso de peatones?" The chicken answered something like: "Porque no quería que me atropellara un coche." I thought: Yes, that makes sense.
Dang it. It's not two chickens, it's a rooster and a chicken, and it wasn't last summer, it was last spring. Should have paid more attention to the details. Glad the fact checkers aren't around.
My kids and I make silly bets like this all the time, love it! I appreciate your authenticity and like your Substack more after reading this, especially the back porch part!! We have that in common…my mom says I’m the healthiest person, except that one thing. I have peace and serenity though, and that’s priceless. Possibly some Ace2 protection as well, we weren’t the ones in the hospital sick.
Thanks, Michelle. That's where I really write these columns - on the back porch. If I ever "prove" early spread, it will probably be out there on one of my smoke breaks. The deer will be the first to know!
I live in a rural area and used to have chickens. My chickens would cross the road on occasion. Luckily, we don't have much traffic here.
Why did the chicken cross the road? In search of better bug habitat.
Urban chickens are actually a thing. Many municipalities have regulations against roosters and limit the number of birds, but a lot of people have hens in the city, even New York.
I bet a lot of preppers are raising them. One of my best friends, raises and keeps rabbits, which I guess offer a lot protein. I better not tell the kids why he has bunny rabbits.
It was an organized movement with resources for helping people change local ordinances and rules. I became interested in the 90s, when I moved to a subdivision whose HOA forbade outdoor clotheslines. This was a time of increasing interest in conserving energy. It seemed silly to mandate an electric or gas dryer when you could dry your clothes outside for free. I'm totally in favor of clotheslines. All the arguments against are elitist luxury beliefs.
... And they are healthier, because they're fresher when you eat them. Supermarket eggs from factory layers are, on average, are about three weeks old by the time they're purchased. The older an egg gets, the weaker its nutritional value. You can research this and verify it without much difficulty.
.... nicotine is definitely something we all should be using - Dr. Bryan Ardis - blood-brain barrier blocker for prions. As for chickens - they're not as dumb as one might think - they seem to farm worms by pooping in certain areas/holes/soils that worms frequent. They also seem to know when I am about to fluff the compost pile - just by grabbing the pitchfork - follow me everywhere - probably even across the road.
Our dog, Annie (my writing partner who misses all my typos), isn't as stupid as she'd like us to believe either.
She eats every object in the house - underwear, shoes, bills, the kids' homework, etc.
But she's figured out that when she has an object in her mouth that we are trying to rescue, the only way we can get her to put it down is to give her some kind of treat - a slice of cheese or turkey or something. I think I know why she keeps doing this. That dog's smart.
Recent subscribers might not know that Annie is my editorial partner. A while back, I ran a short feature story about Annie's contributions to our newsletter and included a photo of her at work.
I have in real life seen a chicken on a road and also cross the road. Both were in a city in China. I think the chicken crossing the road in China was trying to keep its head on because it was actually running. The other appeared lost. Yesterday, I saw several flocks of ducks cross the road. That was on a hunting refuge the day after hunting season closed. During hunting season, I never see them cross the road. Maybe that is because they are trying hard not to be in range during hunting season. I watched one flock of ducks cross to road from a small pond go to the bigger pond. These ducks were Moorhens. Moorhens have a very hard time getting in the air from water and trip before they get airborne from land. When taking off from land, you can hear their wings slap the water as their feet run along on top of it on the way to ALMOST get fully airborne. Occasionally, they get airborne for a dozen to a hundred yards. So the true answer for why the duck crossed the road is because it could not fly. Still not sure why the chicken crossed the road.
I live rural and the local roads goes through the centre of some farms. There are two farms where the chickens actually roam across and around d the road, deftly stepping out of the way as a car travels g between 80-100km ph drives through. In the town a bantam rooster called Rodney and his harem strut around from shop to shop, in and out, and across the Main Street shopping area. He is king of the town and now a tourist attraction.
So why did the farm chickens cross the road? For shits n giggles.
Why did Barney cross the road? To assert his Dominance and ownership of the village.
We had pet chickens. The roosters used to fly across the road and annoy the neighbors, but the hens generally stayed close to the coop even though they were free to wander.
Wellllll, I HAVE seen a chicken cross the road…in fact, I see three every day! I have a large bird feeder in my front yard and my neighbor across the street has 3 free range chickens…. just sayin’! Come on over, and we’ll hang out on my front porch with our coffee and you can mark this one off your bucket list!
It didn't. You can't build any roads, fences, solar panels, wind turbines or hydroelectric plants anywhere near chickens. You ever heard of the Save The Turtles Act of 1994? Chevron says they're helping save the turtles by banning solar panels.
I have. Dirt road. In Mexico. In 1967. My dad saw a Coke truck turn onto that dirt road, so figured if a Coke truck could, so could his 1963 Ford Econoline van.
But I frequently see ducks and fox squirrels cross the asphalt streets.
Bill good article warning of the dangers of IA here my latest substack that gives a similar warning on threat of controlling the messaging using the new social platform tools https://johnseaman.substack.com/p/the-absurdity-of-it-all
I think smoking is cool! I told my kids that when I'm 70, I'm going to start smoking. They were freaked out. Only 3 years to go before I start! I'll start slowly, maybe ramp up with the nicotine patches first. I'll sit on the front porch and smoke and drink beer. I'll put a TV out there too so I can watch The Price. (The Price is Right)
I can't remember the movie, but Jason Robards played a doctor who just diagnosed a patient with terminal cancer. The patient said, "I guess you're going to tell me to quit smoking my cigars."
The doctors said, "Nah. Just leave me the boxes you don't finish."
I hope your son likes this joke, my grandfather told it to me when I was about 8 and I still chuckle, meaning I am either stupid, a sucker for a pun, or touched in the head. My wife thinks the joke is incredibly stupid, and so does every other woman I have told it to, so don't tell your daughter. Of course, as with anything between the 2 sexes (yes, only 2!), there is no accounting for taste, or lack there of.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To bock traffic.
I'll see myself out.
That's so bad that it's good! My stepsisters will love it (we're all in our 60s and we've all had chickens).
I'm a woman, and I approve of this joke.
That was funny. Lol. I am telling that one to the grandkids next time I visit. 🤣
Another family term we use all of the time is "change of pace." For example, chicken spaghetti is a "change of pace" from regular spaghetti.
Personally, I like a "change of pace" every now and then. This column was a ... change of pace! I barely even mentioned Covid!
My grandfather used to sit on his porch and whittle. Some guy came barreling down the road in his pickup and hit a chicken in the road in front of his house. Well the chicken knocked a hole in the plastic grill of that truck. The guy stopped and pulled into my grandfather’s driveway, got out and apologized for hitting and killing his chicken. My grandfather explained that it wasn’t his chicken but the neighbors. About that time they heard a ruckus and the chicken came out of the grill of that truck flapped its wings and ran back across the road where it came from. The guy left cussing up a storm.
Last summer, I saw two chickens cross a road using a crosswalk. According to today's standards, that story would be anecdotal and therefore misinformation. But luckily, I was fast enough to take this photo: https://postimg.cc/xc270yBc
Everyone click on this link. Thorsten has documentary proof!
Did you try to interview the one chicken and ask him why he was doing this?
That was in Spain and unfortunately my Spanish is limited, but here's how it went: "Por qué has usado el paso de peatones?" The chicken answered something like: "Porque no quería que me atropellara un coche." I thought: Yes, that makes sense.
Ha! Habla no espanol.
Dang it. It's not two chickens, it's a rooster and a chicken, and it wasn't last summer, it was last spring. Should have paid more attention to the details. Glad the fact checkers aren't around.
Lol
Great catch! Lol
My kids and I make silly bets like this all the time, love it! I appreciate your authenticity and like your Substack more after reading this, especially the back porch part!! We have that in common…my mom says I’m the healthiest person, except that one thing. I have peace and serenity though, and that’s priceless. Possibly some Ace2 protection as well, we weren’t the ones in the hospital sick.
Thanks, Michelle. That's where I really write these columns - on the back porch. If I ever "prove" early spread, it will probably be out there on one of my smoke breaks. The deer will be the first to know!
I live in a rural area and used to have chickens. My chickens would cross the road on occasion. Luckily, we don't have much traffic here.
Why did the chicken cross the road? In search of better bug habitat.
Urban chickens are actually a thing. Many municipalities have regulations against roosters and limit the number of birds, but a lot of people have hens in the city, even New York.
I bet a lot of preppers are raising them. One of my best friends, raises and keeps rabbits, which I guess offer a lot protein. I better not tell the kids why he has bunny rabbits.
They make good dog food too. Lol. My dogs can catch them on occasion in our urban backyard! Squirrels too and those critters are fast!
I wonder how many squirrels die each day in America ... trying to cross the road?
It seems like they would figure out this is dangerous, but they have squirrel brains.
Lol
I think it became popular when the price of eggs skyrocketed. Plus home grown eggs taste better 🥰
Ah. I see more people doing this in the future; it's yet another "Inflation Work-around." Good point. Thanks.
I became interested in urban chickens in the 90s. It's been a movement for quite a while, along with the Right to Dry (allowing clotheslines).
I'm not up on the "right to dry" movement. Is that a big or growing thing or a growing controversy?
It was an organized movement with resources for helping people change local ordinances and rules. I became interested in the 90s, when I moved to a subdivision whose HOA forbade outdoor clotheslines. This was a time of increasing interest in conserving energy. It seemed silly to mandate an electric or gas dryer when you could dry your clothes outside for free. I'm totally in favor of clotheslines. All the arguments against are elitist luxury beliefs.
... And they are healthier, because they're fresher when you eat them. Supermarket eggs from factory layers are, on average, are about three weeks old by the time they're purchased. The older an egg gets, the weaker its nutritional value. You can research this and verify it without much difficulty.
Thanks for that info. I need to get me some chickens!
Grocery store eggs are a pale (literally) imitation of the real thing.
I'm very lucky to have two or three neighbors I can get eggs from.
.... nicotine is definitely something we all should be using - Dr. Bryan Ardis - blood-brain barrier blocker for prions. As for chickens - they're not as dumb as one might think - they seem to farm worms by pooping in certain areas/holes/soils that worms frequent. They also seem to know when I am about to fluff the compost pile - just by grabbing the pitchfork - follow me everywhere - probably even across the road.
The chickens are playing dumb?
Our dog, Annie (my writing partner who misses all my typos), isn't as stupid as she'd like us to believe either.
She eats every object in the house - underwear, shoes, bills, the kids' homework, etc.
But she's figured out that when she has an object in her mouth that we are trying to rescue, the only way we can get her to put it down is to give her some kind of treat - a slice of cheese or turkey or something. I think I know why she keeps doing this. That dog's smart.
She's also way too quick to ever catch.
Recent subscribers might not know that Annie is my editorial partner. A while back, I ran a short feature story about Annie's contributions to our newsletter and included a photo of her at work.
https://billricejr.substack.com/p/meet-the-co-author-of-my-newsletter?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
I have in real life seen a chicken on a road and also cross the road. Both were in a city in China. I think the chicken crossing the road in China was trying to keep its head on because it was actually running. The other appeared lost. Yesterday, I saw several flocks of ducks cross the road. That was on a hunting refuge the day after hunting season closed. During hunting season, I never see them cross the road. Maybe that is because they are trying hard not to be in range during hunting season. I watched one flock of ducks cross to road from a small pond go to the bigger pond. These ducks were Moorhens. Moorhens have a very hard time getting in the air from water and trip before they get airborne from land. When taking off from land, you can hear their wings slap the water as their feet run along on top of it on the way to ALMOST get fully airborne. Occasionally, they get airborne for a dozen to a hundred yards. So the true answer for why the duck crossed the road is because it could not fly. Still not sure why the chicken crossed the road.
taking off from land should be taking off from water.
I live rural and the local roads goes through the centre of some farms. There are two farms where the chickens actually roam across and around d the road, deftly stepping out of the way as a car travels g between 80-100km ph drives through. In the town a bantam rooster called Rodney and his harem strut around from shop to shop, in and out, and across the Main Street shopping area. He is king of the town and now a tourist attraction.
So why did the farm chickens cross the road? For shits n giggles.
Why did Barney cross the road? To assert his Dominance and ownership of the village.
Apologies should be Rodney, because Barney is my rooster
Email me photos if you can!
The chicken crossed the road because the farmer had eaten all the other chickens, and the rooster had a hard on
They're not running away from a fox, but the roosters. That's probably the answer.
Lol
We had pet chickens. The roosters used to fly across the road and annoy the neighbors, but the hens generally stayed close to the coop even though they were free to wander.
Wellllll, I HAVE seen a chicken cross the road…in fact, I see three every day! I have a large bird feeder in my front yard and my neighbor across the street has 3 free range chickens…. just sayin’! Come on over, and we’ll hang out on my front porch with our coffee and you can mark this one off your bucket list!
It didn't. You can't build any roads, fences, solar panels, wind turbines or hydroelectric plants anywhere near chickens. You ever heard of the Save The Turtles Act of 1994? Chevron says they're helping save the turtles by banning solar panels.
I have. Dirt road. In Mexico. In 1967. My dad saw a Coke truck turn onto that dirt road, so figured if a Coke truck could, so could his 1963 Ford Econoline van.
But I frequently see ducks and fox squirrels cross the asphalt streets.
Bill good article warning of the dangers of IA here my latest substack that gives a similar warning on threat of controlling the messaging using the new social platform tools https://johnseaman.substack.com/p/the-absurdity-of-it-all
I think smoking is cool! I told my kids that when I'm 70, I'm going to start smoking. They were freaked out. Only 3 years to go before I start! I'll start slowly, maybe ramp up with the nicotine patches first. I'll sit on the front porch and smoke and drink beer. I'll put a TV out there too so I can watch The Price. (The Price is Right)
I can't remember the movie, but Jason Robards played a doctor who just diagnosed a patient with terminal cancer. The patient said, "I guess you're going to tell me to quit smoking my cigars."
The doctors said, "Nah. Just leave me the boxes you don't finish."
Try the pouches like Zyn or ON. They're great - all the nicotine, none of the feeling like crap.