Random musings on the New Abnormal Passing Scene

Rob Schneider, Cackling Kamala, my latest budding conspiracy theory, “weird” J.D. Vance, a Grizzly Bear in Central Park and some of my favorite cheers of all time.

When you start a random musings’ column, you don’t know what you’ll end up writing about. It turns out I had a few thoughts on the sport of cheerleading and how proud we are our daughter, Maggie, is a new member of the CHMS Trojan cheer squad. (Maggie is on the front row, second from the left.)

Actor/comedian Rob Schneider made an astute point in his interview with Tucker Carlson. He said Hollywood producers and big honchos just want to stay in their high-paying positions as long as they can. 

They know they'll be replaced or fired at some point, but simply want to delay this day as long as possible. Until then, they’re all going to support the "Current Thing." No dissent allowed. If they did dissent, they'd be gone tomorrow. This explains our “Clone Culture.”

The “scandal” about our Second Gentleman impregnating his children’s nanny had a shorter shelf life (about 12 hours) than the scandal that RFK, Jr. once picked up a dead bear on the side of the road and then put the grisly corpse in Central Park next to an abandoned bicycle.

I had to laugh as I like a politician who enjoys staging a bold prank. Alas, this elaborate gag was used to label RFK as perhaps “weirder” than J.D. Vance.

“J.D. vance is weird” is, of course, one of the authorized narratives of the moment.

My new pet conspiracy theory …

I’m playing with a new hypothesis - e.g. the head puppeteer of the Deep State is probably a chief at the world’s biggest or most influential ad agency. 

Think about it. What do the “Mad Men” at these agencies really do? They create short and long-term campaigns that are basically psy-ops designed to manipulate the masses.

The “narrative is the thing” and these Mad Men create the narratives, which are usually bogus.  They then disseminate these storylines to captains of various organizations, including their allies in the captured mainstream press. 

“Vance is ‘weird’ or ‘strange’ ” is one current narrative just like “Gov. DeSantis is captured” or “another Jeb Bush” quickly became the operative narrative when DeSantis announced he was running for president.

I can go back 12 years and remember when the “Ron Paul Revolution” was actually growing and starting to become a threat to the Status Quo. “Ron Paul is a racist” nipped that momentum in the bud over night.

Today, we can all easily pick up on the “memes of the day,” which include buzzwords or nightly sound bites that are simultaneously trumpeted by every Talking Head on every newscast.

But these Mad Men also helped craft the long-term strategies - like we need more mRNA vaccines … or central bank digital currency will help business and is “safer” than germ-infested cash preferred by money-laundering drug cartels … or “Climate Change is the existential threat” to the world.

The short-term memes always advance the long-term agendas. 

My working theory: Some diabolical genius is writing these scripts and legions of people and organizations are dutifully following and spreading the authorized narratives. (More to come on this spicy and budding conspiracy theory).

It took about four hours for the polls to flip …

Another current narrative is that Kamala Harris has surged into the lead in the presidential race, according to many polls (although polls show 90 percent of polls are captured or biased).

One suspects it’s much easier to steal another presidential election if most of the “authorized” polls say Kamala is going to win.

I also note Kamala hasn’t given a big press conference since she was appointed the Democratic nominee by our new “virtual democratic process.” 

For that matter, Joe Biden - who is technically still the “President of the United States” - hasn’t given a press conference since he heard from God and decided to abandon the race. (He never told us why he was dropping out. All we know is that it wasn’t because he has dementia and/or Parkinson’s).

Anyway, three cheers for America’s fearless “watchdog” press corp!

Some belated love for “Miss Terry” …

Nick Saban, who I’d like to publicly thank for his 17 years of stellar leadership of The Crimson Tide, is off to an impressive start as a Talking Head at ESPN.

I just read a story about the ultra-successful charity Saban and his wife (Miss Terry) still run. This story noted how funny Mrs. Saban is.

This observation made me reflect on the truism that a great woman is often behind the success of great men. If someone would give her a chance in the right media platform, Miss Terry would would emerge as an All-Star.

Mr. Pfizer scores big …

I think it was Rob Schneider who noted that Travis Kelce, the star tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs and Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, was paid $10 million by Pfizer to promote the company’s Covid and flu non-vaccines.

(Kelce in a future commercial:  “If you want these, Pfizer can help!”)

I didn’t know Schneider once appeared in a State Farm commercial with Aaron Rodgers, who used to be the company’s spokesperson - until he was replaced by “Mr. Pfizer” (Kelce) and before Rodgers came out of the closet as an anti-vaxxer.

Schneider confirmed he’s been black-balled by Hollywood, but his stand-up comedy routines are selling out across the country. This makes me feel good as it suggests “the despicable” aren’t cowering under their breakfast room tables. 

I’m starting to get serious about this …

I keep joking with my wife that I’m going to try my hand at stand-up comedy. As Schneider proves, a market for taboo, politically-incorrect comedy definitely exists. 

Seriously, how hard could it be to stand up on stage and tell funny stories? 

I just wrote a column on Dale Carnegie’s timeless self-help classics, which provide great tips on how to overcome any public speaking fears. In my new side venture, I know I’d face hecklers, but surely I could write some counter jokes and shoot down these audience bullies. (Or, if the hecklers prevailed, I could always sue them for psychological damages.)

Let’s all cheer for the Trojans!

Tonight is “Meet the Trojans” at Memorial Stadium. My daughter, soon to be 13, is going to be introduced to the crowd as a member of the Middle School Trojan cheer squad.

I used to be skeptical that “cheer” was a sport, but I’m not anymore. These girls practice as long as the football players, do complicated and highly-choreographed acrobatics and stunts, and I can tell Maggie’s in far better shape than she was before she became a cheerleader.

IMO promoting school and town spirit is a noble and important extracurricular activity. Once everyone is “too cool for school” (or too cool to cheer for their teams), we can “just hang it up” (the last stanza of one of my favorite cheers).

When I was in 8th grade, I was on the Trojan Middle School basketball team. My girlfriend for a couple of months, the fetching and beguiling Deanne Brown, was a cheerleader just like my daughter is today.

Whenever I got fouled taking the ball to the hoop, the cheerleaders and Deane would break into a popular cheer of the day:

“My man, he’s fine

He’s at the free throw line.”

That dang cheer made me throw up a lot of charity-stripe clunkers. (Alas, DeAnne and I didn’t last through the end of the season).

*** (Random Insertion of “Share Button”) ***

My Substack is going all the way this year!

Thanks to my readers, I’m on a Substack roll. My recent story about the Pulitzer Prize-winning Bozo from The San Francisco Chronicle got 501 “likes” and more than 8,000 reads.

My story on “what they did to us” also surpassed 8,000 reads and has been shared and cross-posted across the fruited plain.

“Yea, Team!”

“The Gym, The Gym, The Gym is on fire …”

Let’s end with another cute cheer …

… I just thought of a rejoinder cheer I can use when I get heckled in my future stand-up routines:

“U-G-L-Y  … You ain’t got no alibi …

You Ugly! (Hey, hey) … You Ugly!”

… Somehow I don’t think Maggie’s cheer coach lets her squad do that one any more. 

But I still like it, and I bet if I started it off, just about everyone in the comedy club would join in … which might smell like good, old-fashioned teen spirit.

A subscriber - a doctor! - just emailed me my Certificate of Achievement, which I’ll display with pride in my study.

(I always let out a little cheer when I get a new paid sub or Ko-Fi tip.)

Writer gratuities via Ko-Fi.