The Lighter Side of Covid

Different Names and Flavors of Covid …..

You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog Covid

Author’s note: I had only about 900 subscribers when I originally posted this column 17 months ago. I now have almost 6,000, which means most of my readers never saw this little ditty - which is actually one of my favorite pieces. Then again, my sense of humor might be slightly different than some people. Without further comment … my second-ever column re-boot!

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Before we had Covid proper, we had “Corona,” which was a trade-marked beer so the lawyers said we had to go back to “Covid-19,” which sounded like nothing anyone had ever heard before and reminded some people of a Steely Dan song until we just dropped the number and just had “Covid,” which had a good bite to it …. and, finally, everyone signed off on the name of our pandemic.

But then we had Asymptomatic Covid, Symptomatic Covid, Alpha Covid, Delta Covid, skipped to Omicron Covid, leaving off Chi and Mu Covid but we’ll get to those. Now we have some kind of B-1 and B-2 Vitamin Covids.

Fauci, Biden and half the world got “Rebound Covid.” There’s no telling how many people contracted Iatrogenic Covid and we’ve all been reading for a long time about “Long Covid.” For almost 1,000 days, Zero Covid has been the goal.

All of this got me thinking about all the different names and flavors of Covid, so I couldn’t resist coming up with my own names for different types of Covid.  As you can probably tell, these just popped into my head … so I’ve yet to experience Brain-Fog Covid.

Reader submissions are welcome in the Comment section. We do not have Censorship Covid at Bill Rice Jr.’s Newsletter. I placed most of my names into “Covid Categories.”

COVID NAMES:

Little Bitty Covid

Sneaky Covid

Long Dong Covid

Long Tall Covid

Bubonic Covid

Milquetoast Covid (not to be confused with Milk Toast Covid)

Plain Jane Covid

Non-Denominational Covid

Kung Fu Covid

Iran-Contra Covid

Branch Davidian Covid

Sultan of Swat Covid

Virgin Covid

Promiscuous Covid

Smoke ‘Em If You’ve Got ‘Em Covid

Existential Covid

Magnanimous Covid

Miscellaneous Covid

Indifferent Covid

Big Muddy Covid

Lonestar Covid

Pasta sauces, salad dressings … and respiratory viruses

Covid Cuisine …

Nothing Burger Covid

All-You-Can-Eat Covid

Newman’s Own Covid

Campbell’s Chunky Covid

Extra Crispy Covid

Low-Fat Covid

Covid Au Grauten Covid

Left Over Covid

Mom’s Meatloaf Covid

Spicy Covid

Pioneer Woman Covid

Covid by the Numbers …

747 Covid

007 Covid

8675309 Covid

Covid by Letters and Numbers …

LGBTQ1 Covid

4-H Covid

N-95 Covid

Stupid-Is-As-Stupid-Does Covid

Cinematic Covid …

Full Metal Jacket Covid

Escape to Witch Mountain Covid

The Empire Strikes Back Covid

The Outlaw Josey Wales Covid

Rambo Covid

Red Dawn Covid

Stupid-Is-As-Stupid-Does Covid

Animal Kingdom Covid …

Feline Covid (“CatScratchFever” Covid)

Bovine Covid

Lone Wolf Covid

Elephantiasis Covid

Largemouth Bass Covid

Grasshopper Covid

Spider Covid

Monkey Pox Covid

The Hues of Covid …

Pink Covid

Rainbow Covid

Earth-Tone Covid

Baby Blue (Mask) Covid

A-Covids …

Apocalypse Now Covid (also could be in the cinema category)

Apoplectic Covid

Agnostic Covid

(Sisters of) Alpha Gamma Delta Covid

C-Covids …

Captain Covid

Celebrity Covid

Coach Covid

Cold Beer Covid

Cosa Nostra Covid

Coastal Carolina Covid

X-Covids …

Xenophobic Covid

X-Rated Covid

X-Ray Covid

X-Men Covid

Author’ comment: There’s more X-Covids than one might have thought.

V-Covids ….

Vaccinated Covid

Vampire Covid

Vendetta Covid

Z-Covids …

Z-Pak Covid

Zesty Covid

Musical Covid …

Funky Cold Medina Covid

Devil With a Blue Dress Covid

For the Benefit of Mr. Kite Covid

Werewolves of London Covid

Big Bopper Covid

You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog Covid

Give Peace a Chance Covid

It’s a Small World After All Covid

Old Blue Eyes Covid

Sexy Sadie Covid

Literary Covid …

Prairie Home Companion Covid

Catcher in the Rye Covid

Lolita Covid

World According to Garp Covid

1984 Covid

The Kardashians survived their Covids.

TV Covid  …

Happy Days Covid

Jump-the-Shark Covid

Stranger Things Covid

Twilight Zone Covid

Night Stalker Covid

Dateline Covid

Dynasty Covid

The Price is Right Covid

Marcus Welby, M.D. Covid

Six Million Dollar Man Covid

Love Boat Covid

Horshack Covid

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Covid

Yes, it played in Peoria.

Geographic Covid …

Wuhan Flu Covid

Jersey Turnpike Covid

If-It-Plays-in-Peoria Covid

Snake River Canyon Covid

City of Lights Covid

Rock City Covid

Receding Glacier Covid

Smuteye Covid

***

… At some point I had to stop …Cease and Desist Covid. 

Oh, and these two …

Until-Next-Time Covid.

Good Night Covid.