My first-ever Cannibal Story …

Joe Biden sets the record for whoppers delivered in one paragraph.

I hate picking on our “president” … oh, no I don’t.

As reported by Zero Hedge and various X citizen correspondents, ”Joe Biden" just set the Guinness Book of World Records' record for most lies spoken in a 32-second soundbite.

President Biden said his uncle died in WWII when he was piloting a single-engine airplane that was shot down over New Guinea and his uncle was then (perhaps) eaten by cannibals.

The lies:

1) His uncle was not the pilot; he was a passenger.

2) The plane was not shot down. It had engine problems and ditched in the ocean.

3) He was not, in fact, eaten by cannibals. He probably drowned and his body was never recovered from the ocean.

4) It was not a single-engine airplane.

5) Also, Biden said several of his uncles all enlisted in WWII after D-Day (June 6, 1944), but “Uncle Bozey” really enlisted in 1941 (and died a month before D-Day). 

Biden also seems to imply everyone in the plane died, but this is false as one person survived and told military officials what really happened.

The topper is that Biden repeated the exact same story twice in one day!

(Somehow I don’t think President Biden’s handlers wrote on his teleprompter: “Ad-lib and tell your story about Uncle Bozey getting shot down and eaten by cannibals.”)

In rare, harsh, “truth-seeking” mode, the AP allowed that President Biden was “off on some details.” 

Another family war story …

Zero Hedge also mentioned that on “13” occasions America’s president has told the story of another World War II uncle of his who was, belatedly, awarded the Purple Heart for being wounded at The Battle of the Bulge.

According to a 2022 New York Post article, that story might have set the previous record for whoppers in one telling.

Per Biden’s story, Biden - acting on a request from his father - made sure his uncle belatedly got the Purple Heart after Biden was elected vice president in 2002.

Biden has repeatedly told the story of how, 57 years after the battle, he gave the medal to his veteran uncle, with his father looking on with pride.

The problem with this story is that both Biden’s father and uncle had died years before Biden became vice president.

Also, apparently no record exists of “Uncle Frank” ever being awarded the Purple Heart … in 1945 or 2002.

At some point, these events stopped being funny ….

For a while, the President’s daily “gaffes” were no doubt viewed as wonderful entertainment for many members of the public who otherwise would be bored by presidential politics. 

Alas, by now, such stories have transcended into the territory of the surreal as increasing numbers of Americans realize this is the man with the nuclear codes.

As for what presidential “gaffe” is coming next, nobody knows. We just know it will happen in the next two to 24 hours.

We do know that White House spokespeople assure the public President Biden is as mentally sharp as ever … and is definitely not suffering from dementia.

Of course, at least as far as American citizens know, President Biden hasn’t been tested for dementia either.  As we all know from Covid times … if doctors and scientists never investigate something, they can’t “confirm” it.

P.S. I also wonder what the Prime Minister of New Guinea thinks about the President of the United States calling his citizens a bunch of cannibals who ate his uncle?

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(This article was for readers who might like shorter stories to break up their Substack fare. I’m not expecting any members of The Biden family to hit me with a Ko-Fi donation, but I’m really trying to get Mr. Biden back home to Delaware where he might have a less-stressful life and won’t have to spend so much time reading his teleprompter.)

All Ko-Fi donations go to Mrs. Carrie Rice (who deserves a Purple Heart for putting up with me.)

https://ko-fi.com/billrice