In Defense of the Plastic Grocery Bag
I wrote this essay five years ago when California was trying to ban these bags. Nobody published this, but the topic’s still in the news … so here it is.
Substacker Don Surber just published a piece where he highlighted several noteworthy pieces of news. One of his items was a story from The L.A. Times that says California’s ban on plastic grocery bags seems to have back-fired. Writes Surber:
ITEM 4: The LA Times reported, “It was a decade ago when California became the first state in the nation to ban single-use plastic bags, ushering in a wave of anti-plastic legislation from coast to coast.”
This news items reminded me I’d once written an essay “in defense of the plastic bag.” (It also reminded me my Law of Opposite Effects almost always works - everything liberal do-gooders mandate ends up back-firing).
I sent my 700-word essay to many news organizations that publish guest editorials or accept freelance submissions … but none accepted my essay for publication (a non-response I got used to, which explains why I finally started my Substack newsletter).
I actually liked my plastic bag essay, especially my last few paragraphs. Anyway, I thought this would be a good time to belatedly publish an essay I wrote five years ago.
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In Defense of the Plastic Grocery Bag
By BILL RICE, JR.
Futile exercise or not, I feel compelled to mount a defense of the beleaguered and maligned plastic grocery bag, which is being banned left and right in “the land of the free.”
For starters (and not that this makes any difference), people do seem to prefer the plastic version.
“Paper or plastic?” The check-out girl used to ask. Customers, in overwhelming numbers, voted for plastic.
Reasons for this are not hard to identify:
They don’t break as often (Update: Although I think the bags were stronger/better five years ago).
It’s much easier to transport groceries from the store to the SUV to the kitchen counter in plastic bags. Indeed, the number of plastic bags one can comfortably grip with just one hand is amazing.
I know it’s not as important as “saving the planet,” but having a free hand to protect my own Baby Jack and Little Maggie from running in front of a car in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot is actually a matter of some importance to me.
Paper bags are much more cumbersome and require making more trips from the SUV to the kitchen. Some of us, truth be told, get tired more easily than we used to. So plastic saves human energy.
Also, there’s no telling how many falls down the front steps - and trips to the emergency room - have been averted by people making fewer trips to the car to put up groceries.
Plastic bags have many uses. For example, they can be used to store meat in the refrigerator, keeping unsightly and unhealthy meat juice off the shelves.
If you’ve lost your Dopp kit, the bags can be used to pack toiletries. If you want to save money by eating at the office, they can be used to pack your lunch. They can even be used as litter bags in your car.
They also save the store (and the store’s customers) money.
Freedom of choice, anyone?
Of course, the main argument for plastic involves quaint notions like freedom and personal choice, and the (now-discredited?) principle that businesses should be allowed to run their businesses the way they think best.
We’re told such bans and government-imposed mandates are necessary for the “environment.”
If one side is engaged in “saving the planet” and the other side simply wants an easier way to get groceries from the SUV to the kitchen counter, my side is going to lose this debate every time.
While fighting the litter problem is a noble goal, I doubt banning plastic bags is going to make much of a difference.
All these arguments made, I accept that plastic grocery bags might be toast in the future. If cities are considering banning them in my home state of Alabama, they will surely soon be banned everywhere.
No, my only option is to accept today’s ban, and all future bans, with as much grace as possible.
So when the internal combustion engine is banned, I’ll buy a 10-speed and ride it to McDonald’s. When the “to-go” cup and the Filet-A-Fish wrapper are banned, we’ll eat everything inside.
Happy Meal consumed, I’ll balance my 4-year-old on my shoulders and we’ll begin our peddle home. We’ll enjoy the feel of the wind in our hair and our view of a median now littered only by cloth and paper bags.
If the squirrels are frolicking more happily and the fish jumping more gayly - if the planet is indeed healthier than ever - all the better.
… But if a storm suddenly blows up and my son catches the death of cold, or if I wreck that bicycle and my son fractures his skull, I’m going to blame somebody on this planet.
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Post-script: As it turns out, the plastic bag was NOT banned in my state of Alabama, which suggests other people might think like I do … something that always amazes me.
Oh Mr. Bill, you’ve brought up a rant worthy topic for me … and I really do have much larger fish to fry.. but did I mention those plastic bags are great for flouring stew meat? Panko breading? I digress… here’s my #1 reason why this plastic bag debate is so absurd. I enter my Safeway, I grab a plastic cart or plastic basket, I head to the Deli and buy turkey, Swiss cheese and Cole slaw all packed in plastic, onto the cherry tomatoes, baby carrots, etc all in plastic bags..now lets go down the prepared food aisle ( I actually cook and avoid multi syllabic additives, but let’s)… all plastic and I don’t mean flimsy plastic bags… I forgot meat, fish, fowl and dairy… my DUH obvious point being, our groceries are all packaged in varying grades of plastic and yet, the culprits are biodegradable plastic bags? I’ve been calling out the obscene unnecessary use of plastic in the food packaging industry for decades… my 36 year old daughter will still tell you that she was the only child who didn’t get to have Oscar Meyer “Lunchables “…. I won’t get into the “convenience vs lazy” argument I’ll just say the whole premise is just inane.
We refer to the many empty plastic grocery bags spotted in trees as "fooliage": Nondegradable manmade enhancements for trees installed by littering fools with the help of a good breeze.